That's what my VO2 max fitness guide yelled at me during my warm-up on the assault bike, and it completely threw me off.
What's VO2 max? It's a savage test that measures your fitness levels. Essentially your body's efficiency at converting oxygen into performance. Like many metrics we obsess over, it's both revealing and incomplete (doesn't tell the full story like what happened that day), but one of the best indicators of overall health. And if you want to be able to walk up and down stairs when you're older without being out of breathe, you'll want to work on having a higher VO2 max now, because it typically declines about 10% per decade after age 30. Training, specifically cardio can slow that process down. If you don't know anything about V02 max, GPT away!
For the last few years, I've been working towards a VO2 max of 60. The appeal of a single, definitive North Star number to validate my health training is something I couldn't resist, similar to how we often seek that one perfect KPI in business (or anything) that tells us we're on the right track. My Apple Watch fluctuates between 50 and 58, so I was hoping an official test would either confirm that range or help me understand what’s going on, and really put Apple's Watch estimates to the test.
There's dozens of videos on YT breaking down v02 max accuracy across various devices, but I wanted to find out for myself. I was referred to a $30 grand opening promotion for the test at Bodystats (which you might still be able to grab if you're in Vancouver 'SEEYOUSOON' it expires in a week!), so I thought I'd give it a go.
The test itself was super uncomfortable with this Darth Vader-style mask that felt overly restrictive.
Don’t puke, or you’ll be fined a $1000
And then, right at the tail end of the warm up, she suddenly blurted that warning. It felt like an odd moment to say it. Why not during the Dexa scan or 10 minutes earlier during the mini orientation session? I nodded yes.
Improvement often means embracing discomfort, or being out of our element, whether in fitness, or building something new. Comfort rarely leads to breakthrough data points, or that's what I tried to tell myself. As my arms were getting completely cooked, I shifted my questioning to how many people before me had puked in this very mask. Then flashing back to all my peak exercise moments, trying to remember if I'd ever actually puked before. Nope.. but maybe it happens regularly during v02max tests? Anyways, those words really torpedoed me, and between restricted mask breaths, I was trying to hold back laughter at the whole situation.
I clocked in at 51.9, and I didn't push it to my absolute max.
The assault bike wasn't it for me. More of an arm killer than v02 max lung killer 🤷♂️. I'm pretty sure I could've hit closer to 57-60 on a regular bike or my beloved skates. Or maybe i'm just projecting.
That warning about puking and the fine completely threw me off my game. Between thinking about that, the previous riders of the mask and trying not to laugh, I found myself holding back rather than pushing to my absolute limit - probably costing me several points on my final score. I need to try this again and go full ham!
Going back to data, it was also super interesting to note discrepancies between my Apple Watch and the official test results: 54.3 on my watch versus 51.9, but we’ll need to compare them over a few tests. These measurement inconsistencies are familiar territory for anyone who’s tried to track v02 max, or progress in anything. The question becomes not which number is ‘right,’ but rather the importance of using consistent equipment, timing, and testing conditions to ensure reliable comparisons over time.
This whole experience got me thinking about new wellness centers, the trend of pop-up health test centers offering plunges, hyperbaric chambers, VO2 max, Dexa scans, and RMR tests, some even coming to your home or workplace. It's all part of the movement toward taking charge of your own health. This shift toward consumer controlled health data mirrors what's happening across industries. People are bypassing traditional gatekeepers and building their own dashboards for life. There's something powerful about owning your metrics, even when the process of collecting them isn't always pleasant.
Post workout, I totally dropped my PDF results into Claude to get some extra insight and compare them with VO2 max industry standards. Check out this custom report I put together in seconds.. Pretty cool, right?
Yes, it took me a few tries to create a prompt/view I liked, but this feels like a new opportunity for interactive health. One that operates without trainers or doctors or technologists (designers, developers, or analysts), which could lead to some unexpected consequences. Be careful out there. The numbers are just data points in a longer journey of optimization, that's similar to building a company, product, or reaching any goal in life. So we can start to build our own custom views, or gamification layers that work best for each of us.
I'll definitely be back to test my v02 max again, either on a bike or after some assault bike training. And next time, I won't save anything for the swim back. Even if that means a fine.